Premarital Counseling: Awareness of the Gift and Responsibility
Planning a wedding is time consuming amidst your already busy lives; is it really a big deal if you don’t invest in premarital counseling? YES!! With any lifestyle change, the more prepared the better the outcome. With the well known statistic- 50 percent of marriages end in divorce- counseling prior to the wedding day boosts you up 30 percent for success! You could spend years together prior to getting married and still not have the conversations that are crucial to better understanding your partner and yourself.
For a marriage to thrive, these three things are crucial- awareness of self, awareness of partner, and awareness of your marriage.
Awareness of Self- The first year of marriage is an eye opener! You realize there are certain things you are passionate about that you never thought you were. A few examples might include; temperature in the house, the placement of certain items, what “early” means to you when attending an event, or what you enjoy doing to rest on the weekend or after work. Over time, these seemingly insignificant things can become incubators of resentment, contempt, and criticism. What are your triggers that tell you something is bothering you? Where do they stem from? What is the best way to process them while acknowledging how you are feeling and inviting you partner in, not turning away?
2. Awareness of Partner- Intentionally connecting and observing who your partner is and how they receive love. Do I show them love through their love language? How often? Have I asked my partner if their needs are being met and been open to their response in love?
3. Awareness of your Marriage- Be together as a couple. Share what is on your hearts, your struggles, frustrations, and dreams. Are you intentional in encouraging each other to become the best version of yourselves? Do you pray together through various means- attending church together, at meals, opening scripture, working through a devotional, in hardship and in celebration? Do you surround yourselves with individuals who support you in your relationship and faith journey? In what ways are you supporting and encouraging others and giving of yourselves to your community as we are called to do?
Premarital counseling assists in building a deeper connection and understanding of yourself and your future spouse in these three areas. Along with topics such as communication, finances, parenting, conflict resolution, relationship roles, intimacy expectations, etc. that will be crucial once the wedding festivity dust settles. Marriage, like any relationship, elicits expectations and counseling helps uncover what those are for you and your partner.
What pursuit is worth more than your marriage? Invest yourself. Make the effort to work on your marriage day after day, week after week. Learning these skills, perspectives, and processes allows for better patience with each other to keep it real, intentional, and Christ centered. Are you or someone you know getting married and desire to enter into marriage confident with the tools necessary to help your relationship thrive? Contact us today to get started.
