Self Esteem, Gratitude, and School
The struggle to get your child or teen to school is real. It is exhausting when part of the morning routine is endlessly reassuring, motivating, wiping tears, and instilling hope as you attempt to get out the door to school (and possibly work) on time. Anxiety in children and teens, especially centered around school, is continuing to rise. Bullying, social and academic pressures, discomfort with the lack of control in their day, all provoke anxiety. It is important to validate the feelings and concerns your child/teen is experiencing. Emotions and thoughts are not within our control, but what we do with them is. Helping your child build their self-esteem and confidence while finding gratitude will help ease their anxiety. Here are a few tips on how to do just that.
Keep communication open. Kids thrive when they know they can tell us hard things. Kids were mean to them today, worse yet, their own best friend was the mean one. They missed being at home. Maybe it was a good day, but it was hard being on a schedule and not having time to just chill. Allowing them to share these feelings and experiences without finding solutions every time lets them know it is okay to have these feelings. Just talking about it, asking what they felt, what they wanted to do or say in response are all great ways to encourage these conversations.
Foster gratitude. Thanking God for the daily things we end up overlooking helps us enjoy our day more. The blessing of having a comfortable bed, food to eat, a safe home to live and play in, fun toys, clean water, clothes and shoes, etc.
Be real in all things- expectations, goals, failures and praises. When our kids see and hear us acknowledge our own mistakes and shortcomings, as well as praise our family and self for the successes we have, it teaches them real life results. We will not always be successful. We will not always fail. Setting realistic goals and expectations assists in both of these. Encourage your kids and set age appropriate expectations. Encourage risks and try new things together.
Notes of love. Build up your kids (and partner) with small notes of love tucked in and on their daily items; bathroom mirror, lunch box, backpack, purse, laptop bag, steering wheel, rearview mirror, etc. Dry erase markers write well (and erase well) on mirrors. Write out a scripture verse, draw a smiley face or a heart, a quick “I love you!” or “You got this!”, “I am here if you need me.” Simple things that lift them up.
As parents we want to fight all the battles and shield our kids from the harshness of life. Instead, let us equip them with the right tools, skills, attitude, and confidence, to fight for themselves and others. Helping them find within themselves the ability to conquer adversity and discomfort is a true gift that will enable them to thrive.
